let me try to express my feelings

I realized something today.

When I'm in a "i hate boys and anything to do with them" mood and paying attention to everything they are (or aren't) doing, i go into what I like to call "the lame zone".

lame zone [leym zohn] : adj, noun, and verb (i think...if not, i'm making it all three anyway)
 1. in a mood that is not very pleasant
 2. eating an extra amount of treats and other unhealthy substances
 3. not doing anything as far as exercise goes
 4. no motivation to do work, piano, school.
 5. a combination of all of the above.

The definition that fits me right now is probably with the 5th one.

For example : yesterday I made a triple batch of Polka Dot Macaroon cookies  because I was frustrated with some chicos. I decided to put it to good use and take them to class and get some extra credit for english. I forgot them this morning :( so now I have about 30 cookies in my cupboard whispering to me...'caitlin, come eat me. Just one more. Then maybe another after that. I know you've already had three, but you can eat me too. I taste extra good. promise' . Punks.


Then there are those times when I just want to tell all a fair amount of the boys that they are amazing and I just want to give them all a kiss! Just kidding. Only a hug. Maybe. Let's not get too touchy. But on those days I eat healthy foods, like salad, all by myself. Meaning no mom telling me to eat my salad. And I exercise! At least a little bit. I'm a bit more excited for school in the morning because I get to see and talk to those boys. I usually am more willing to practice my piano.

Boys, do you see what you can do to a girl? It's amazing. And ridiculous.

Right now, I'm unfortunately in the 'lame zone'.  All it usually takes to get me out of it is a smile and a 'hi' from certain fellows. But right now they are just walking by, not even looking in my general direction. Even though I just walked right past him.

BUT. It's only high school. Who needs boys? Psh...not me.

I need to get away from this

And go here.

I need the sun to survive

I'm going to go eat a cookie.